that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
