I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
