i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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