I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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