i jhust puked up my retainher.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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