I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
