you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
