Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
