Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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