brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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