Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
