dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
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