i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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