I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
