no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize