you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize