I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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