Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
