i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Randomize
