Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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