Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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