hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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