I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
