who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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