I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
