You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
