watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
