A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize