I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
