turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
