We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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