Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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