Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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