i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize