some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
