I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The power of my boobs compel you
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
