she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
