you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Randomize