Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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