According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
