I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
