Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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