it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
