So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Randomize
