I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
