Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My nipple is on Facebook.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize