ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
