Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
