If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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