Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
