your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize