The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
