Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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