He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
