I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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