we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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