His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
