I'm so fucking centered right now
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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