you guys were way drunker than both of me
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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