You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
