I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
