Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
she woke up with a sticky ear
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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